Hate Mail vs Fan Mail

Today I got some hate mail and some fan mail.

Here is what my readers had to say:

The first (the hate mail) had written back to me writing to them.

I wrote: "Have we met?" Because the dude looked like an uggo I'd met before. Yet, I couldn't be certain if he was an uggo or not. If I'd met him, I'd know that he WAS an uggo, but if not, maybe he wasn't.

He wrote: "No. I don't think we've met.
Interestingly enough, I do NOT want children and I've read Atlas Shrugged. I once left blankets for the homeless by the Pier in PB one morning around Christmas time in a box and I signed the message that I wrote on the box John Gault.[sic]
But alas, I don't like your Blog. Or this "Supplements. Tonalin and Borage. ALA, DMAE, Hyluronic acid. Amazing stuff. I look 27 (or so my last date SAID-and I think he meant it because I WAS carded the other day. Or maybe he just LIKED me)" or your dedication to TV.
Peace.

If he MEANT peace why in the fuck did he bother to write back? If you don't like my blog and you don't like me, then you can fuck off. You know? I don't need to know that you hate me. Peace, indeed!

I wrote back: " It's John Galt. How long ago did you read Atlas?"

You know, I think HE did meet me and he's just pissed because I wasn't interested. I'm just sayin'. And if he can't even get John Galt's name right..well, SERIOUSLY?!

Now for the fan mail:

" Your blog is awesome! Love what goes on in your mind and the food and sex"

Okay. And then he said it reminded him of Water for Chocolate (which I've seen and forgotten) Give me a mo' to remember. Is it that movie with all the shots of the chocolate in the chocolate shop? Hmm. Yes, I think it is. Well. Okay then. That's flattering.

I LOVE FLATTERING.

Kisses!

Hilda Stinson