Like a Dog Returns

to its vomit, I went back to Subway. Yes, I did. But, this was a different location. I THOUGHT it might make a difference. And, the truth is, I really like the veggie sandwiches. OR WOULD if they didn't soak their lettuce in bleach!

A friend suggested that I have spinach instead of lettuce, but I dunno. E coli, anyone? I mean, I'm just being PARANOID. And, of course, it wouldn't be the same. Maybe if I brought my OWN lettuce. Yeah. Except who wants to do that?

In other news, I have been on a wee bit of a shoppy.

It began last weekend in VIctoria's secret. I had a coupon for a free panty and another coupon for ten dollars off a bra. Too bad they don't carry my cup size. Yesterday, I finally took it upon myself to hand wash the panty and I hung it up in the bathroom, on top of some shampoo and conditioner containers. There it sits, glaring at me lewdly, almost dry.

But this weekend, I actually bought some THINGS. Sunglasses, two pairs. Because I couldn't decide and because it's always good to have a spare. And three pairs of earrings. One pair is the kind I've been wanting for YEARS. You see, years ago, when I was in college, the girl next door, Reggie (short for Regina) had lent me a pair of heavy gold earrings. I really liked them and I had been looking for earring like them for a VERY long time. In short, these earrings are my fantasy. Well, not really. They are cheap and light, but I figure when the time is right (I win the lottery, get a real job, land a trophy husband-any of these will do) I will take them to a jeweler and have him/her make me a nice heavy gold pair. Yeah. The other two were very frivolous. Big hoops with a diamond hexagonal ball and some sparkly dangly rings, appropriate for Las Vegas and other special occasions.

I also have some sins to confess: a box of whoopie pies from Ralph's bargain shelf. NEVER again. They were stale. And yet, I ate them anyway. And the worst part was that they didn't get the cream filling right. It was FROSTING. LAWD! Frosting! It's not that hard to make good cream filling. But NO! FROSTING.

There's something else. Another sin. But I can't remember.

And there was a fantasy.

Also, that I can't remember.

Quick, somebody send me some Ginko Biloba!

I remain,

Hilda Stinson