I decided that the hassle of driving down to Einstein's (TM) was just too much. Couple that with the fact that I KNOW they think I'm a bitch. And I am. Thank you. Bitch IS the new black.
I had to go to Best Buy because I THOUGHT my phone was dead. It wasn't. The dude fired it right up. It was really weird. As if there was some cosmic plot to get me out of the house.
Anyway, I decided that since I was out of paper towels, nearly out of toilet paper and that I could always use some more pads, I went to Target (TM). And then to Frye's(TM) in search of an onion bagel.
I went to the freezer section first, thinking of the Lender's (TM) onion bagels I used to enjoy as a child. Well, guess what? They have Lender's bagels, but guess where they are? I dare you. Guess.
They are in the refrigerated section above the eggs. Not with all the frozen breakfast treats, egg sandwiches and waffles-no. They are above the eggs in a totally difference section of the supermarket.
The nice lady at the deli informed me that they don't make onion bagels anymore. "My boyfriend loves them, too," she had said.
"What about organic cream cheese?"
"It's with the tofu and all the other vegan foods at the front of the store."
I knew what she was talking about, so it was there I found the organic cream cheese. The question is: why isn't it with the other cream cheeses?!!! I mean sure, put them THERE, but also have some back where one would FIND cream cheese.
When I got home, I fired up the oven and began to write.
And now? The damn bagel is burnt!!!!
Mother of fuck!
I remain,
Hilda Stinson
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