Happy New Year

to all of my loyal fans. Yes. All eleven of you.
Now before I tell about New Years's Eve, which was the BEST EVER! I must write about my latest obsession: double burgers from McDonalds (TM) followed by a bean burrito from Taco Bell (TM).
Yesterday I had such a craving, so I got the double burger and it was delicious; today, I got another one, sans cheese-and lemme tell you, the cheese disguises how bad the meat tastes. That's why they put cheese on all their burgers! So never again sans cheese. And, possibly never again. I may have had my fill of McDonalds (TM) for the rest of my life. As for the bean burrito, the one I had yesterday and the one I had today were both fine, but one must eat it carefully, lest the contents spill out onto you. So the technique is to bite and suck and bite and chew. Given it's shape, it's a little like cock sucking. Not all that much because you're CHEWING and all, but the little licks and sucks that must be administered are comparable.

New Year's: This time, I actually had a date in the mortal world. His name was Davis Black and he was the brother of Purvis Black. Purvis has been trying to get into my pants for the last eon. But I'm not interested. His teeth are far too big and he is too blonde and entirely too fond of having his cock sucked. Not that I'm against cock sucking, but this guy is just into THAT and that alone. He never fucks. Which is hilarious, actually. (He probably would have come immediately just watching me eat that burrito.)

I met his brother, Davis on Sat night and we played pool against Purvis, who beat us senseless. But we figured, it was just a game and who cares? Then we just talked. And THEN he asked me to go out with him for New Year's. I had been planning on spending it with Mal, but I figure, how often do I get a chance to be with a mortal? SO I decided to go. Mal wouldn't care anyway.

He picked me up in his Mercedes (TM), which was big and black and off we went!

At midnight, he kissed me for the first time in an Irish bar: "Your lips are so soft."

After the Irish bar, we went to this hot dog stand and got something called a Sonoran dog. It is a hot dog which has EVERYTHING on it, including a hot pepper (which we eschewed). The bun was soft and cradled itself lovingly around the dog, which had even mayonnaise! on it. Wrapped in bacon and drenched in chili, ketchup, and mustard (along with the aforementioned mayonnaise-the surprise ingredient) it was truly a masterpiece in my mouth.

After eating the dog, we went to a disco and this was when he told me I was "so cute".

Last, there was this kiss, this amazing kiss.

I don't even think I can describe it.

Holla, Davis Black.

I remain,

Hilda Stinson