Hello Loyal Fans!

I am Hilda Stinson.

You don't know me yet, but you will.

To begin with, I am in love. With food.

Most women fantasize about shoes. I find this laughable because shoes are so damn uncomfortable, as are most articles of clothing. But more about that later.

Some women fantasize about movie stars and having sex with them.

I haven't actually had sex with a movie star, that much is true. But I can tell you this: it's probably the same as having sex with any other guy, except it might not be as good because "the star" will think he doesn't have to put forth any effort. This would not be good enough for Hilda Stinson. And shouldn't be good enough for any women. But some of you have low self esteeem. And there 'ent much I can do 'bout THAT one.

But back to ME. And my fantasies. This is, after all, a blog about porn. Food porn. Oh. YES. (Foodgasm)

Well, let's begin at the beginning:

Chocolate. Cake, to be exact. A large chocolate cake with white icing in a large wineglass. A wineglass so large that I can fit inside it (with the cake!).

There's a lift that takes me up to the top of the glass (which is incredibly sturdy, because, honey-chile, Hilda is a HEAVY one, lemme tell you!) and I step off into the glass.

As I step, my foot (completely sanitized (yes I have germ issues, shut up, nobody asked YOU)) steps into the mounds of chocolate cake, which is still warm and the icing, which is chilled creates a contrast on my skin. I lie down in the wine glass and little chocolate bonbons filled with neopolitan ice cream are delivered into my hands.

I lie and meditate in the cake, bon bons in my hands. And then I begin to eat and roll around in the cake. Finally, exhausted from writhing around in the cake, I fall asleep, completely sated.

(sigh)

I love cake.

And, you, my loyal fans.

H+K,

Hilda