Heartburn

I sometimes suffer from it. It's true. I cannot eat at Fuddruckers. Can't do it.

The last time I ate there, it just BURNED. I was meeting a boy who was half my age. Mainly because he begged and begged to meet me. And even though, I knew nothing would happen, I reckoned that well, at least he could buy me lunch. So he did. And told me that he'd like to plow me like field of wheat. And, while this is flattering, I wasn't attracted to the boy in the least. And the burger, while passably edible, gave me the worst heartburn EVER.

Fast forward to yesterday: I'm out with Beau, it's our second date (after about a month of not seeing him at all..no calls, a few emails..my friend Tor thinks that I'm his "back burner" girl. (which I think says a lot more about TOR than it does about BEAU, but I digress)) and we have worked up an appetite, walking around Hillcrest, looking in all the second hand shops.

Beau has got this major hard on for a burger. Like: he's gotta have it. But all the places we go to are CLOSED (it IS the middle of the afternoon)-and other places we reject because they don't have a bar. When finally, he says, "Well, they might not have a bar, but they do have the burgers." So we go.

And the burger is heavenly. It's so juicy. And the bread it comes on is artisan quality. But the fries are those awful reconstituted potato abominations that they now serve at Chili's (I believe, if I'm recalling correctly)- we get a half fry, half onion ring. The onion rings are passable. I mean, a place that serves burgers like that should serve real steak fries. The big fat crispy ones.

Then we go to a movie. It's a movie about two gay men and their love story. It's terribly romantic, but we don't hold hands for most of the film. In fact, all the hand holding has made me notice one thing about Beau-and it's this: he really needs to get some hand lotion. Rough and dry. Maybe he's ashamed. I don't know. Maybe he's not all that into me. I don't know. I'm dithering. Am I not?

There was a point in the elevator where, in an alternate universe, it was a long ride. And I wore a skirt. He pushed me to the back of the elevator, and raised my skirt, whereupon he then pushed himself into me, hard and fast. Hmm. But, in this world, we both remained completely zipped and he just banged into me suggestively, a little bit. I'm still not sure what to think.

It always seems he's got something going on. As if he's read ˆThe Rulesˆand is trying to make me think he's got this wildly successful social life. Always on the go, always doing SOMETHING, and usually too busy to get together with me. But, then again, maybe he IS too busy to see me all that often. Maybe I am the "back burner" girl. But, of course, to be fair, I haven't been all up in his grille either.

So, I went back and re-read his profile and it seems like he just wants to date someone in a non serious way. Although, he did say something on the first date about how that might be changing for him. And I felt so happy on that date, not because he said that, but because I couldn't believe that I actually liked him ('cos that doesn't happen all that often). I can't tell you how many first dates I've had. So many guys I am just NOT interested in.

In other news, Tor told me that he wants a FWB, but that he doesn't want to talk about my other relationships. But yet he doesn't want a relationship. Interesting. So is he telling me he just wants a one night stand? (Rolling eyes) The problem with Tor is that he thinks he's hotter than he is. He doesn't realize that my choices extend right on down to the early twenties set. There are men much younger and far more beautiful than he that are just dying for a lil' something something from ol' Hilda here! Not that I'm really interested. But the OPTION is there. Tor needs to stick that in his pipe and SMOKE it!

Later, it hits: heartburn. But it's a very subtle heartburn. It's not like the kind I got from Fuddruckers. Yes, the burger I had with Beau was kind of greasy. Yummy. But greasy.

Signing off,

I am,

Hilda Stinson