Wen(TM) and Pickle Flavored Toothpaste

For those of you unfamiliar with the infomercial, let me assure you, you are probably not missing out. Of course, I am entirely too conscientious of my low economic status to actually buy Wen(TM) itself, so I bought a generic version.

Now to be sure, generic versions are not necessarily the same thing, or even as good as. But the man at Sally Beauty (TM) told me that women are "saving a lot of money buying this instead of Wen(TM). You just have to get used to the low lather." I took this to mean that it was just as good.

All right. You also have to use a LOT of product. It's time consuming to use. Well, maybe not if you have short fine baby hair. My hair is long-and stong (and 'read to get it ON!-sorry, couldn't resist a song riff, not sure where that's from. "Big Butts"? I think?)-there's a LOT of it. And this Wen(TM) knockoff made it kind of dry and full of body. Which is the last thing somebody like me needs. Who knows? Maybe the real thing is fabulous. I don't know. Probably not. I'm accustomed to hair products not working for me.

What I've noticed is that the sulfate free Loreals work for me. They do. I mean, you know, as if there was really anything all that good for MY hair, torn between Caucasian and Negroid, an incomplete dominance, making it very difficult to work with. But once it's worked: it is STUNNINGLY gorgeous. But the key word here is work.

In other product news: pickle flavored toothpaste. You're probably wondering, who in their right mind would ever BUY something like that?! Well, I didn't buy it. My dentist gave it to me. He is always giving me toothpaste samples, as if I am some degenerate that doesn't believe in toothpaste and is unable of buying it for myself.

If you know what I know about fluoride, or fluorine (which is the true chemical name for it)- you will know that dentists have been recommending it for years. And now? They are too embarrassed to stop. Go ahead and read up on it. It's a by-product of the aluminum industry, which has been linked to Alzheimer's, not that fluoride gives you Alzheimer's. Just that when they make aluminum, they have so much fluoride left they have to DO something with it. There's a lot of stuff on the internet about it. I encourage you to give it a Google.

I have always contended that cosmetic companies are putting toxic waste into their products. This is why cancer is so prevalent. So toothpaste, makeup, shampoo-all kinds of things. Full of toxic waste. As a consumer it's hard to get away from it. Like I said before, the Loreals are great on my hair. But of course, they probably have something bad in them, but what can I do?

I suppose I SHOULD be using John Master's Organics. But I just can't afford shampoo that is 20 dollars a bottle. Although, I suppose if I ever get a real job, I COULD. But then, I don't even know if it will work on my hair.

On the toothpaste. I bet you're dying to know what kind it is. All right. It's Sensodyne.

Dreadful!

I remain, bleeding out,

Hilda Stinson