Black Angus(TM)

As most of you know, the only thing black about me, besides my soul, is my heritage. And I look really good in black too, actually, if you think about it: particularly black lingerie, but this column is about Black Angus(TM), or more specifically the ads that they send out in the mail.

Usually I am inured to ads. Although, sometimes, I confess, I do fall prey to Jack in the Box(TM) coupons sometimes. There's one in the neighborhood and sometimes I'm just HUNGRY. But enough about them, I want to discuss the new Black Angus(TM) ad, it read: "Steak, Ribs & Grilled Prawns"-and there was a picture too, with corn on the cob, green beans and a small triangle of watermelon. In the background, there was a roll with oats on the top of it. It made me want butter. You know, frozen and then let it melt in my mouth? And all of this was only 15.99-and it wasn't like the "dinner for two", you could go by yourself and get it. I liked the idea of that. Except, to be fair, it would be a waste of a private booth.

Let me explain: for those of you who have never been to Black Angus(TM), let me describe the place in terms of sexual opportunity-high booths. That's right, the booths are very high and it makes dining VAR VAR private. So, it's kind of a waste to come by yourself.

So, for your reading pleasure, I now, proudly present: Dinner at Black Angus..

Next column.

I remain,

Hilda Stinson