However, his actor, Nathan, was in town for Comic Con and he stayed on a bit longer to help out the Captain and me. In short, he lent us his body. Or, well, he tried. Or shall I say, made an effort? Of sorts.
"What is this tiny little thing?" he said.
"That is an Adidas(TM) sock. Feel it."
"Soft. And tiny," he teased me.
"Yes," I ignored the dig, "but not to be confused with OTHER Adidas(TM) socks, like this one," I held up a white one with pink striping, it was cotton, but not made from Coolmax(TM) and nowhere near as soft. "Can you feel the difference?"
"I can."
"So you can see how important it is that I get more Adidas(TM) socks."
He grinned. "You're a funny girl. The Captain said you were sexy, but he never said you were funny."
"Well, I am."
"You know, I might not let him have the bod. I'd kind of like to go out with you."
"Oh really? Even though I don't have red hair?"
"Even so," he insisted. "How did you know I like red hair?"
I rolled my eyes.
"Do you ever think about coloring it red? I bet it'd be GORGEOUS!"
"Yeah. All the time," I dead panned. "Natural blonde. I'm good."
He shrugged.
"Are you ready to let the Captain take over?"
He sighed.
"Come on, Nathan, deal's a deal."
"All right."
"And, oh yeah, we're going to have to use your wallet too."
He laughed. "That's fine, I don't mind. But I want a crack at you after he leaves."
"We'll see, no promises," I said.
And then: silence. His eyes rolled back in his head, and then, the Captain was standing in front of me.
"He didn't give you a hard time, did he?"
"Naw. But I don't think he quite got my obsession with Adidas(TM) socks."
"Hilda, I don't even know what those are."
I showed him.
"Good socks. Very shiny, can we go now?"
"All right," I said.
We went outside and got into Nathan's car, which he made me promise not to let the Captain drive.
"Gorram it, I want to drive!"
"Chill. You do NOT have a license."
"No, but Nathan does."
"You're not Nathan, you don't know how to drive one of these and that's that. There's a reason you have a pilot on your ship, is there not?"
He pouted.
When we got to the restaurant, dusk was beginning to fall. We parked, got out and went inside.
"Two?" The hostess seated us quickly.
"This is quite nice," he said, giving me a kiss.
"Yes, I thought you'd like it. What with the high booths."
We ordered the dinner special: ribs, steak and shrimp on one platter.
The salad? Eh. It was okay. Nothing special. What I like to call a "lazy salad". Lettuce, one tomato and one cucumber, covered with nasty croutons. Which are okay if you pick them off and eat them individually. It's when you try to eat them with a salad that they taste kind of gross.
The ribs were divine. The BBQ sauce was smoky and sweet, absolutely perfect and the meat just fell off the bone. The steak? Absolute perfection. But the shrimp? Well, it was mediocre at best.
For dessert we ordered chocolate lava cake, which we shared. And there was decaf, black of course.
But the best part was between courses.
We kissed and licked at each other's mouths, hands fondling until the next course would arrive.
After dessert, the Captain took me home (actually I let him revert back to Nathan so he could drive. I was a bit tipsy from the wine!) and laid me on the bed.
"Shiny!" he exclaimed, removing my dress and gazing upon my new lingerie set, a lacy cream and red bra and panty set, with bows on the shoulders and hips.
"Uh..Mal?"
He didn't say anything.
"Nathan?!"
"Well, you can't blame a guy for trying!"
I remain,
Hilda Stinson
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